Friday, May 3, 2013

It's been quite a year!

Over a year later... where do I start?

I am alive, and lots has changed for me this past year - here's the overview:
  • I ran my first 10K last summer
  • Participated in a half dozen 5K's
  • Finished another inline marathon
  • Was promoted to a manager, and went back to work full time for the 1st time in 8 years
  • Quit working at WW due to my promotion & working full time
  • Quit attending WW meetings, well because I did.
  • Rebelled and ate everything I shouldn't have for 3 months, well because I did and I could because I had no one weighing me every week
  • Am more than 15lbs above my weight goal - probably closer to 20
  • Today, at 12:15 going back a meeting and nipping this in the butt before I have to start all over again!
Do I feel like a failure? Maybe a little, but I also feel like I did it on purpose. I didn't care, once I stopped working there I felt like I had a sense of freedom and I wasn't in the "spotlight" anymore. I took full advantage of eating everything I hadn't been "able" to eat in 2 1/2 years.

Was this a light bulb moment for me? OMG, yes! I have realized so many things over the last few months.
  1. I do not have to work out like a maniac to be healthy, and to be honest I was burnt out from pushing myself so hard
  2. It's not a race or a competition - it's a journey, it's a process. Before and after you get to your goal.
  3. I gave up so many things before, and that was a huge mistake. Even if it takes longer to get to your goal, I need to incorporate the things I like because I will never give them up!
  4. I set my goal to low for myself, I had to work out too hard and cut out too many things to keep it there. So I am going to increase it a little bit to make it more comfortable and maintainable for my lifetime (5lbs higher than before)
  5. If I don't want to race, I don't have to. It's my choice, and I will not be pressured into doing things that I don't want to do because I am trying to please someone else. It's not that I didn't like to race, I did. However, I feel I was pushed to doing races I didn't want to and quite frankly, it wasn't enjoyable for me.
  6. I don't want to be in the spotlight with WW, it was too much pressure. I want to just be a member, and go about my business without people looking up to me or watching me at the grocery store or out to eat with my family. Though I LOVED my job being a leader, there was so much pressure that I didn't realize would come with it for me personally within my own journey. I needed to distance myself for a while and regroup.
So there it is :) Am I going to write on here all the time? Nope. Just once and a while, so here I go again! Time to get those skinny jeans back on again :) They still fit but boy I have quite a muffin top hanging over the top! lol